So you want to join the Ultrapowerful

Dear *Applicant's name here*,

I regret to say that your application to join the truly powerful stratum of society has been, with not much regret at all, rejected. While I realise that the idea of having your own personal version of the legal system, the ability to do pretty much what you want whenever you want, and to be completely free of any requirement to act in a societally friendly or moral way is very attractive, I'm sure you understand that part of the cachet is derived from the exclusivity of this group.

We do, however, greatly appreciate that you have (tick where appropriate):

[ ] Undermined the welfare state in your home country
[ ] Undermined the welfare state as a global concept
[ ] Attempted to justify selfishness as a political standpoint based on hyper-rationalism
[ ] Privatised industries to the benefit of everyone except the consumers of the products of that industry and the nations within which they reside
[ ] Outsourced your labour force in such a way that the Tollpuddle Martyrs, wrapped in copper, are now making up the shortfall in the global energy market
[ ] Denied subsections of your workers, your neighbours or the people that you govern access to services based on characteristics over which they have no control, in an environment that you have manipulated to achieve this aim
[ ] Made reproductive control a moral issue
[ ] Made the prevention of cervical cancer a moral issue
[ ] Denied access to abortion while still extending this availability of this medical procedure to your own family and inner circle, and in the full knowledge that the abortions will continue illegally and women and babies will die
[ ] Commodified a resource used to maintain human life, or health, in such a way that you have created an artificially inflated market that is denying this resource to those who need it
[ ] Appointed a relative, or a friend, or the child of a donor or a supporter of your cause, to a position of trust and responsibility that they are so ill-suited for that the damage that they cause would tick at least three boxes on this list
[ ] Lied under oath because you know that you're right
[ ] Declared war, or undertaken war-like activities, in the furtherance of a personal agenda, and against the advice of your own advisers and the majority of your military intelligence community
[ ] Failed to declare war or take decisive action when actual evidence arises due to personal conflicts or financial involvements with the aggressor agencies.
[ ] Manipulated voting rolls, voting systems or changed results to ensure that the 'real' will of the people is observed
[ ] Supported the military involvements of your country, to your own personal gain, while not allowing any member of your own extended family to take part due to the risk
[ ] Subverted science knowingly to further an agenda with a timeframe of less than 60 months
[ ] Subverted science, or cast science into doubt, for personal financial gain, even where the impact of your actions can be measured in human lives lost
[ ] Raised all of your fees and charges to maintain your bottom line and then declared a record profit
[ ] Rewarded egregious behaviour with bonuses and lavish parties
[ ] Produced a media engine capable of taking 1 and 1 as input and producing page 3
[ ] Used fear as a weapon in legal matters, with malice and menace, when a properly formed and respected legal system would achieve the same aim but at a higher risk to yourself, and without the ability to derive benefit from the deliberate pursuit of the innocent
[ ] Not suppressed any of the musical output of the following artists: *Insert last year's Grammy winners in popular and C&W here*

While we appreciate these *insert adjective here* effort(s), we hope that it won't come as too much of a disappointment that you cannot join our group, unless you have been born into it. And if you had, you'd know, because you would have most likely ticked all of the boxes by now. We realise that you may have been labouring under the misapprehension that, if you act enough like us, you can be one of us. It is astounding how many people make that mistake! Of course, by the time you could think yourself ready for consideration, you have already served us very, very well, and we are sorry to have to deliver this news after everything that you have done for us.

May we suggest that, in your next life, you consider being born to a better family? It seems... foolish... to choose any other option going forward.

Yours Sincerely,
The Ruling Elite.